Punishment
Throughout time and different cultures, there have always been stories of people who have done wrong things and gotten punished for them. Perhaps the most famous is Sisyphus, who cheated death twice and was condemned to eternally roll a boulder up a hill, only for it to roll back down each time. The ancient Greeks’ nightmare really revolved around futile labour. Another example is the Danaides, who murdered their husbands. Their punishment was to fill a leaky jar with water forever. Imagine what the Greeks would feel if we were to transport them to our modern world of redundancy and futility.
Punishment is present in Norse mythology. Loki is bound in a cave with his son’s entrails, and a serpent drips venom onto his face because of his role in Baldr’s death. In Christianity, Judas Iscariot resides in Satan’s mouth in the lowest circle, chewed endlessly for his betrayal of Christ. In ancient Mysopotamia, Etana, a king who sought immortality, is sometimes depicted as falling eternally from the sky. In Islam, Abu Lahab, the Prophet Muhammad’s uncle, is bound in flaming chains, his wife carrying firewood to stoke his torment for opposing divine truth. In Hindu tradition, King Nahusha, a prideful king who mistreated sages, was cursed to become a serpent.
So now imagine the war criminals and shit heads of our time and what their punishment would be. I would put Nixon and Kissinger in an Oval office themed escape the room, where Nixon is drunk as fuck and crying about people hating him and not having pineapples, meanwhile Kissinger needs to urgently leave for an important interview. Or Elon Musk stuck for eternity in comedy roast where his fragile ego disintegrates, ah wait, that is already happening. Netanyahu can be chased forever by muslim drones. Margaret Thatcher will have to work in a factory making Irish cars. Hitler would have to cook meat at the eternal meeting of the communist Jewish club. Queen Elizabeth II is even now watching a poor person eat a steak with a dessert fork!! Imagine the horror.
[originally posted to Patreon on 15/5/25]
