Donkeys
“An Ass an Ass, my Kingdom for an Ass” is what Richard II should have said. Too long have those pompous airheaded pricks, horses, taken center stage in history, mythology, and art. I believe it is time to give their cute little cousins the donkeys their time in the limelight.
Donkeys are intrinsically linked with humans and human civilizations. Despite Jesus Christ himself riding a donkey into Jerusalem, these cuties are always depicted as being dumb or stubborn. From the steed of the pitiful and pathetic Sancho Panza in Don Quixote to the hilarious Donkey from Shrek voiced by Eddie Murphy, donkeys seem to be the butt of every joke. However, civilization as we know it would not have been possible had these furry creatures not agreed to be domesticated.
Donkeys have great memories and make for excellent navigators. They will find the way home no matter how dark it is or how far they are. They are used to lay mountain roads because a donkey will always find the easiest way to climb a mountain. Their stubbornness comes from knowing better and refusing to do the stupid things we humans try to force them to do. They are also quite sturdy and can carry surprisingly heavy loads compared to their size (unlike those little horse bitches). But also they can recognize their owners by voice and have a great sounding laugh!
Historically, around the Mediterranean Sea, donkeys were the primary mode of transportation. You could simply head over to the nearest donkey guy and grab a donkey for your journey to the market or a family outing to the beach. So basically, donkeys were the Uber of their time. The people of the Levant, even in the scorching heat of August, could enjoy snow or ice shavings with their carbonated drinks of fermented bread, all thanks to donkeys going back and forth daily from the snowy mountain peaks. In times of hardship and war, donkeys regain their pivotal role in human life. A mere glance at the videos of the genocide happening in Gaza is proof of that. In the absence of fuel and cars, donkeys once again become the only form of transportation in a besieged city.
This is why donkeys have been in our stories for hundreds of years. From Aesop’s tales to the Levantian Jeha, donkeys have both assisted and amused us. I believe we should continue this tradition and make more folklore about donkeys, not as the butt of a joke but as companions and heroic little stubborn fuckers. Do you own a donkey and if so can I please meet it? What roles do donkeys have in our modern world other than an insult in Arabic (ya hmar)? What stories of heroic donkeys do you have?
[originally posted to Patreon on 1/3/25]
